How to maintain your online life when you’re dead.

It has been recently been brought to my attention that I am never offline.

I’m on email all day, frequently surfing the web (do we still use that term?) for the latest marketing insights and inspiration and then instantly switch to Twitter (with a forage into Facebook) at the end of the working day; gleefully interacting with my Tweeps on Downton Abbey and Don’t Tell the Bride.

“The only time you’ll unplug from the interweb is when you’re dead” my frustrated friend sighed.

Which got me thinking. I have my Zombie Apocalypse plan in the bag (don’t we all), but what happens if the flesh eaters actually get me? What if I become a walker? How will my online life survive?

Never fear, my Zombie social media plan is here.

1. Twitter is the Zombie’s friend. You don’t need to spell out long complicated sentences. The only word you need to remember is ‘graagh’. Simples.  But if you are being particularly smart for one of the walking dead, why not show off with a hashtag? #wanttoeatbrains should do it.
2. Foursquare is the Zombie’s friend. Those idiots may have stocked up on water and tinned goods, but one ‘check in’ and you know exactly where to go for lunch.
3. Facebook is the Zombie’s friend. In fact I guarantee you’ll probably piss your friends off less. No more annoying status updates about your babies (or hamsters). No need to change from ‘in a relationship’ to ‘it’s complicated’ to ‘single’ ever again.’{Insert name here} is eating human flesh’ - one simple status update is all the smart Zombie will ever need.
4. LInkedIn is not the Zombie's friend. You have to work with these people when you're alive. Do you really want to eat them after you're dead?
5. Bebo is not the Zombie’s friend. Nobody with brains is using Bebo.
6. Google + is not the Zombie’s friend. Nobody is using Google +.